This translation of Jaun Elia’s hauntingly evocative Urdu poem, "Tumhara Hijr Mana Loon Agar Ijazat Ho," echoes with the agonizing weight of loss and longing. The speaker, consumed by the absence of their beloved, seeks permission to indulge in sorrow, to dwell in the dark recesses of grief where shattered promises and memories linger like faint shadows. The poem draws upon the profound emotions of isolation and despair, threading a delicate line between sanity and madness, as the speaker’s soul spirals deeper into melancholic reflection. Through vivid imagery, the speaker envisions their nights lost in solitude, the flickering of hope reduced to but a faint ember, while the city around them remains unfamiliar and strange. The poem touches upon universal themes of heartbreak, existential yearning, and the silent ache that often accompanies unhealed wounds. It paints a portrait of a soul trapped between the torment of remembrance and the desperate desire to hold on to even the smallest fragment of love and life. Translated with a gothic sensibility, this rendition retains the original's depth of sorrow and longing, capturing the mournful cadence of love lost in time.
Translation: "May I Lament Thy Absence"
May I lament thy absence, if thou wouldst permit?
Might I surrender this weary heart, if thou wouldst permit?
What now, to me, are promises or sacred oaths,
If only I may squander my hours away, if thou wouldst permit?
In the stygian nights of thy long-lost farewell—
Might I kindle but a flickering flame, if thou wouldst permit?
Madness remains; though this city be strange—
Might I raise a cacophony of sorrows, if thou wouldst permit?
Though healing be a fleeting hope, yet still—
Might I bare these festering wounds, if thou wouldst permit?
And still, beneath thy shadow’s pall, I yearn to live—
Might I gather the broken pieces of myself, if thou wouldst permit?
Translated by:
Mason Carter