What is Consent?
Consent means getting a person's permission to do something. It is a fundamental aspect of respecting others' boundaries and ensuring mutual agreement in interactions.
Why is Consent Important?
- Respects personal boundaries.
- Ensures comfort and willingness in interactions.
- Prevents unwanted or forced actions.
When Do We Need Consent?
- Borrowing or using someone's belongings.
- Physical interactions like hugging, high-fiving, kissing, or touching.
- Sharing personal or sensitive stories.
Examples of Asking for Consent
- Before hugging someone: "Can I hug you?"
- Before sharing an upsetting story: "This story is sad and it is about [topic]. Is it okay if I share it with you?"
Changing Your Mind About Consent
It is important to know that people can change their minds about giving consent at any time. For example:
| Scenario | Explanation |
|---|---|
| Borrowing a Pen | If someone initially says, "Yes, you can borrow my pen," and then changes their mind to, "No, you cannot borrow my pen," that is okay. They are allowed to change their mind. |
| Physical Affection | If someone says, "Yes, I want you to kiss me," and then changes their mind to, "Please stop kissing me," they have the right to do so. |
Key Points About Consent
- Consent must be given voluntarily and enthusiastically.
- People cannot give consent if they are under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
- Consent should be obtained every time, even in ongoing relationships.
Ensuring Clear Communication
Consent is about ongoing, clear communication. Here are some phrases to use:
- "Are you comfortable?"
- "Is this okay?"
- "Do you want to slow down?"
- "Do you want to go any further?"
Understanding What Consent is Not
- Consent is not implied by someone's clothing, flirting, or previous actions.
- Consent cannot be given if someone feels pressured, manipulated, or threatened.
- Non-consent means stop immediately. Ignoring non-consent is a form of abuse or assault.
Respecting Boundaries
It's crucial to respect boundaries and never make assumptions. Some red flags that indicate a lack of respect for consent include:
- Pressuring or guilting someone into doing things they do not want to do.
- Claiming that someone "owes" them something in return for favors or gifts.
- Reacting negatively if consent is not given.
- Ignoring verbal or non-verbal indications of non-consent.
Remember, everyone has the right to their own body and to feel comfortable in their interactions and relationships.
